you mad?

i really wish you were reading this right now. I swear, sometimes i just don't understand you and the nerve you possess. It seems to me like you have an attitude about me having a boyfriend. Now, correct me if I'm wrong. I tried for a whole three years to express to you how much I like you and actually verbally did so on numerous occasions. I don't know what the difference is between now and then other than our heightened senses of fashion as well as the fact that we're both in college... Maybe it's the fact that neither of us look much like the way we did in high school... i definitely have changed as far as that goes and if that's why we got along so well over Winter Break, then shame on you for being so shallow.

Seriously though, I've been trying to be yours for way too long now and I even went so far as to tell you that I love you, which is not something I say to just anyone. The sad thing is that I meant it when I said it two years ago and I'll never stop meaning it. I hate that you don't like that I'm with someone right now... Actually I don't even know if that's true. But what I do know is that ever since you and I had that conversation on FB about how you were "happy for me." You haven't had much else to say to me. When I try to talk to you, you're dry, short on words, or sometimes even non responsive... Maybe I'm just imagining things or maybe I'm right.

Whatever the reason is that you and I have to gotten back to that slump that we're oh-so-familiar with, I just hope you don't give up on me altogether. I wouldn't dare ask you to wait or anything mellowdramatic like that. All I can say about this is that if you and I are meant to really be with each other, God will make it happen. I can't do anything else. But I do love you, and I never stopped.

And I never will, either.